[Rene Artois]

Rene Artois wrote:

Tuesday 24th March

I’ll tip:

Aldershot 2-2 Boreham
Boston 1-2 Altrincham
Brackley 2-1 Braintree
Eastleigh 2-2 Sutton
Halifax 2-1 Carlisle
Gateshead 1-2 York

Doh!

[Rene Artois]

York are 3-0 down 😵‍💫

[Rene Artois]

Come on Stan, own up… you’ve dropped one!

Boston 1-1 Alty
Dec grabs the equaliser in the first minute after the restart.

1 user thanked author for this post.

Bhuna5

[Rene Artois]

Declan makes it Boston 1-1 Alty in the first minute of the second half.

[Rene Artois]

Tuesday 24th March

I’ll tip:

Aldershot 2-2 Boreham
Boston 1-2 Altrincham
Brackley 2-1 Braintree
Eastleigh 2-2 Sutton
Halifax 2-1 Carlisle
Gateshead 1-2 York

[Rene Artois]

I would imagine that the directors are making plans for a season in the National League next season.
Easier on their pockets.

Promotion Odds as of Mon 23rd March 2026.

[Rene Artois]

Deereyme66 wrote:

‘what he did at Ilkeston and what he’s doing at Matlock,’

Opened a launderette?

He’s good at spinning…

1 user thanked author for this post.

Awaywego

[Rene Artois]

Rene Artois wrote:

All except one of their last 9 league games has been decided by more than a 1 goal margin… 2W 3D 4L

Add another game to that stat.

[Rene Artois]

Kane has just put Bayern 3-0 up in their game against Union Berlin today

Just sayin like :-)

[Rene Artois]

Kane -The Complete Striker… Left Foot, Right Foot, Head… Goals, Goals, Goals!

[Rene Artois]

The new lad … Head of Turf Science & Facilities … is going to need one!

[Rene Artois]

Iron-awe wrote:

Some of our strikers over the years were candidates for the Barn Door, as in could not hit one if they tried.

Bârn d’Oôr ?

[Rene Artois]

The 7 is Kamaldene who has 25 Ghanaian caps.

The 4 is Isak Hien who has 26 Swedish caps.

Kane makes them look like two jacket spuds.

How did he get that much power & accuracy in to the shot when he’s basically stumbling & falling. Great strike – Great goal.

[Rene Artois]

Kane – that goal up close & personal in slow motion
.
Maradonaesque

[Rene Artois]

Bhuna5 wrote:

ffs, Scunthorpe United are becoming a joke. Why should we pay for the pitch.
Sinking to a new low. Is the corner square where Hurst cannot take a corner from available as it is sand and not grass according to the boss, surely a discount price.
It is hard enough to afford a day at football for the garbage we have witnessed since the Horsham home match, so i will just pay for my seat, which i think i will have longer than our clueless management.
Are we all looking forward to another struggle on saturday, a tough game at second bottom Braintree ??
Braintree scored 3 at Truro, just saying..

As Swayze said in Roadhouse “every games a big game, until it’s not a big game”

[Rene Artois]

Deereyme66 wrote:

Or children’s sandpit…

There’s a geezer in Blackpool who we could ask if he’s interested in sponsoring a sandpit square.

Sands Sandpit

1 user thanked author for this post.

Bhuna5

[Rene Artois]

Is StuMaw running this, it’s really just a big footy scratch card… but with no chance of winning anything.

£15.6k towards a £50k to £350k project.
Tesco… every little helps.

How about linking the GPS the players wear to mini flexi ‘screens’ on their backs – every time the player moves in to a new sector… the sponsors name is illuminated on the screen on the players back

Witchcraft.

Ps – I’m guessing our expenditure on this will be at the lower end of the scale.

3 users thanked author for this post.

another fed up fan, Awaywego, Bhuna5

[Rene Artois]

Deereyme66 wrote:

‘New idea for Attis ants music festival using Rene’s plot…’

It’ll make a nice little veg plot.

1 user thanked author for this post.

Bhuna5

[Rene Artois]

£15,600 if all plots sell.

8.5m x 5m

Can I sub let it during the summer to camping enthusiasts? ;-)

1 user thanked author for this post.

Bhuna5

[Rene Artois]

https://www.scunthorpe-united.co.uk/news/2026/march/in-memoriam-levi-gallimore/

[Rene Artois]

2nd) York are 19pts ahead of us.
Top) Rochdale are 21st ahead of us.

Southend (ok, 2 games in hand) in 7th are a massive 30pts behind Rochdale.
Their supporters must be beyond frustration.

[Rene Artois]

Can you believe that we’re in fifth position playing how we have and with our ‘form’ over the last 12 games or so?
How bad are the remainder below us?

[Rene Artois]

So Real Madrid notch a hat-trick, knocking Pep Guardiola’s side out of the competition for the third consecutive season.

[Rene Artois]

And only just sneaked passed Altrincham’s reserves.

[Rene Artois]

I can’t see that CT. A $7Bn empire to defend and 500M fans to please.
And we think we’ve got it tough!

[Rene Artois]

Well, he seems to be playing with a smile on his face now that he’s playing in his position (No9) and scoring goals again.
I may add, scoring goals in a struggling team!
Hopefully he’ll continue to find the back of the net for them in the remaining games and present Stan & Michael Sc(h)ofield with a nice ‘problem’.
Better still, if he’s recalled for the play offs and he ‘Prison Breaks’ us out of this league.

Over to you Dec!
We believe in you!

2 users thanked author for this post.

Bhuna5, cassidystash

[Rene Artois]

Alty made their own from some bits & bobs left over from Robot Wars!

1 user thanked author for this post.

Deereyme66

[Rene Artois]

As they say on that much derided national tv station – Other automated line marking machines are available.

[Rene Artois]

The last time they won at home was Boxing Day!
6 goals from their 6 league games since then.
4 defeats and 2 draws in those same six games.
They’ve taken just 1 point from their last 6 games and only 4 points from the last 30 available!
We’re W2 D2 L2 from our last 6 away games.

If we don’t beat these, then…

I’m going:

Truronians 1-5 Scunthorpians @ 66/1
Truronians 1-6 Scunthorpians @ 100/1
£1 on each!

1 user thanked author for this post.

Bhuna5

[Rene Artois]

From The Alty Files:
“An Altrincham side with nine players out injured, a tenth suspended and an eleventh (Howe) ineligible against his employers, were denied a point at Scunthorpe by an added-time goal. In doing so, Altrincham recorded their twentieth defeat of the league season, a total only surpassed by Gateshead and Truro City, the two bottom clubs in the Enterprise National League”

Phew… thank god they weren’t at full strength!

[Author]

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