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Comment: Helping the neighbours

We’ve just had this sent in via email and thought it was worth a share. Cheers to Dave for this, we found it fairly amusing! If you want to send us anything, feel free

So we’ve let Jennings on loan to the Cods. Some people are in outrage. How dare Wilcox loan our young goal machine to our rivals in their quest for promotion- “BOOOO!”

Am I? In a word, No. Let’s be honest, he probably wouldn’t have made the squad tomorrow and although he boasts a quite fantastic goalscoring record in the conference he definitely needs some competitive game time to aide his recovery. I feel for the poor lad. I really do. He’s just recovered from a horrendous injury and the first thing he has to face is a loan move to Blundell Park. Grim.

Worst case scenario he has a barren spell and Grimsby lose all sight of the play offs… (Hang on, maybe that’s the best case?) or he fires in a few goals and arrives back at Glanford Park ready to help fire us to League One.

SCOREBOARD
Paul’s new TV

Besides, we all like to help out our neighbours don’t we…

I’ve been thinking how I can summarise this and I guess it’s like when your really boring neighbour comes round and asks if he can borrow a cup of sugar. (Do people do that any more?)

This neighbour, Paul, is the most boring guy in the world. In fact he’s even more boring than that old Hull gaffer Mr Pearson who you had the displeasure of listening to moan and whinge every week for a year and a half on BBC Humberside. Since his long term relationship ended, he’s never happy. His voice is monotonous and you really cannot stand the guy.

Anyway, he’s knocked on the door because he’s desperate for a cuppa. He’s out of sugar and he hasn’t had chance to pop down to the supermarket. All you really want to do is get him out the house as he’s probably going to bore you for an hour talking about his massive new TV that doesn’t work- but you are reluctant to give him what he wants. He’s got some cheek.

You really want to tell him no but you remember that he did you a really big favour in mid November and you’ve been smiling ever since. You feel that you owe him one and considering you’ve got a bag full of sweetness in the cupboard you could probably let just one cup go.

So, through gritted teeth you lend him some. Some from the bag you are keeping as spare. The bag the dog ripped when rummaging through the carrier bags you’d just taken at the door from the Tesco delivery man. The one that needed some taping up. Fairly recently damaged, but it should be OK for Paul.

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Written by Matt Blanchard

Part of the team since 2007, before becoming editor in 2013. Undertaken the role of match summariser during Scunthorpe United live match commentaries for BBC Radio Humberside. Seasonal contributor to football titles FourFourTwo and When Saturday Comes and a finalist at the Football Blogging Awards in 2014.

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